The only way for you to know if I am one of your teachers…

Good Morning Beloveds,

I have spent the last four hours preparing this message (audio letter) for you. It will take a half an hour to listen, so get a cup of tea and a journal, get in the hot tub or nest on the couch, or take a walk and put on your headset. I would appreciate it if you could listen within the next few days. It feels important for us to choose each other consciously.

Through listening to this message you will get to know me and how I weave the field with invitation, imagination, personal story, grief, forgiveness, riddles, real talk and unreasonable love. All designed and divined for you to do your own work within, while knowing I am a vulnerable person right beside you…with gifts that summon your gifts.

My gift is to summon your gift. I do that through invitation to consciousness, identity and a pathway of practice through self-expression. I invite you to see yourself.

The only way you can know if I am one of your teachers is by having an experience with me. This audio-letter is enough of an experience with me for you to choose to take the next step in your path of practice within Intentional Creativity.

Many of you read my letters from over the past twenty+ years, or engaged with my many books, thousands of you paint with me every month and you have for years. Over the past 13 years, over 650 of you have studied to be guardians of our teachings in the Intentional Creativity lineage. I love us, I truly do. It’s a wild romance I never imagined would be possible!

Regardless of the degree we have already walked together so far…. today is a good day to choose if we go forward together….

But also this:

If you are no longer wanting to be in our circles, it is also a fine time to say - See you another day. I really want those who are here, to consciously choose. Our relationships need to move beyond default settings and into collaborative energies. Curiosity and not being certain is also welcome, but you choose.

I believe when you hear this Letter from the Red Thread Cafe, you will know if I am one of your teachers. You have many teachers and you are one yourself, but walking WITH other teachers makes the path ahead not only bearable, but beautiful. I hope I get to be one of those who serves you on your path.

Shiloh Sophia

Here’s the writing from the audio. This is inspired by my friend, L.B.

How See Yourself

Part Meditation - Part Invitation - Part Story

Dear Heart,

It's really early in the morning, it's dark in here

and the sounds of the birds haven't begun

but I wanted to come and talk to you.

Because You know what,

there IS a lot going on.

In our sweet world, in our lives, in our bodies,

in our brains, in our finances, our spiritual traditions,

our relationships with lovers, ourselves, our stories,

and our dreams for the future, and our thoughts

about what the future even is...these days.

It's not uncommon for moms I know to ask:

what future will their children will inherit?

It's just a lot. Have you been feeling that too?

And no, it hasn't always been this way.

I know that because my Grandmother, she told me.

We are in a phase of development that many think

is progress, but many of us do not agree.

We see extractive behaviors as regressive

not progressive, do you know what I mean?

Exponential growth is not natural to the earth.

And we are the earth. Right in this moment

Let's allow ourselves to breathe.

Just breathe in through your nose

and out through your mouth.

Just land right here, let out a sigh if you like.

Yes, in this moment as you come into contact

with these words I am sending to you

right now

Breathe with me, let your shoulders drop,

just for this moment in time.

I have something I would like to share with you.

But first

For the rest of this Letter from the Red Thread Cafe,

between tomorrow and today

Will you continue to breathe with me?

Let us breathe....

First of all - I want to tell you

You are not alone, right now

I am right here

and I am good company

I bring cups of tea for your muse.

Precious one, you are here too,

You here too, with me as I am with you.

And I want to honor you. You made it.

You are someone that sees things

that others don't.

You feel things

that very few understand.

You just know things

and you don't know

how you know, you just do.

Because of this you don't always

share what you have to say,

it can seem so different

than what you see 'out there'

that if you were to share

you might be compromised in some way

or exposed and you feel it isn't worth it.

In the past,

when you have spoken your part,

it may not have gone so well.

Sometimes yes, but often not.

We hide ourselves so that we don't reveal

our true nature, our true colors,

to keep ourselves safe.

I understand this.

Even if it becomes safe, in a circle of people

who are strange and glorious the way you are,

but in their own wild ways,

still, it takes time, and practice

and daring to start

to unfold your tender wings.

With tender wings,

don't you just love those words,

tender wings?

With tender wings, wet like a new butterfly,

you attempt to show your patterns

or even just to see them fully yourself.

Just for right now,

will you do something with me?

I invite you to imagine that you don't need

anyone's approval anymore,

you don't need permission to be,

and that you just are enough as you are

and that you, right now, are becoming

safe enough within yourself

to see yourself as you are.

Most of us don't receive invitations like this.

That's why I am sending it to you.

Can you just agree to see yourself right now?

As much of you as is available?

See it. See you.

I think you already do see yourself...

but many of us

we don't stop to practice the seeing of self,

that's why I am inviting you to see yourself,

right now.

If you heard a sound in the background,

it's the kitties waking up - when they hear my voice

they get up from their sleep and they come where I am.

This invitation to see yourself

is why I am talking to you right now.

I invite you to breathe and see yourself.

There you are.

As much of you is as available to be seen,

may you be seen and feel the feeling

that comes with, seeing one's self.

Let's go a little bit dipper

Close your eyes and see with inside eyes. There you are. Here you are.

Let's rest here, leaning in.....

Let's rest together,

allow your eyebrows to relax

relax your jaw, feel tension releasing

in your collar bone, allow the knot in your

solar plexus to magically untie

thank your gut for the amazing intelligence

rest a little deeper into your pelvic bowl

become present to the bottoms of your feet

and to the palms of your hands

and the top of your head

allow a sprinkling of light to travel from your

brain down your spine and just rest.

Now I would like to tell you something,

here in this place

You are specifically and magnificently

sovereign and you deserve to unfold

your uniquely patterned wings.

See your own pattern, your own color,

your own cadence becoming a little more

clear, right now.

Beautiful. There you are.

It is very important

for us to unfold our own wings

But also because if we don't,

those bright wings begin to dull or go numb,

which is what i often hear people feel numb,

we need to expand and try things out

we need to feel the air on delicate patterns

as you make arcs in the clouds of our own identity. Today I am inviting you to movement,

a shifting of the patterns of time and mind,

a chosen arriving in you-ness.

The gloriousness of you-ness.

You-ness. Your fullness.

You don't need me to tell you, but

I am anyway, because someone told me,

and now I tell you and you tell the others.

We cannot allow ourselves to be defined

by external circumstances, or people.

This is sacred work in a sacred trust

that we must define ourselves for ourselves.

Let's breathe.

My mother once wrote

And the point is we define

a point for ourselves.

The point is we must define

a point for ourselves.

Brilliant.

What is the point

that you will define and design

for yourself?

The point or the purpose or the

pattern that wants to be revealed.

I can't say for sure but it's been my experience

that those innate patterns are all already held

within you like the butterfly pattern already

exists in the caterpillar.

Your metamorphosis is an inside job,

but here's the thing

the caterpillar doesn't need to know

how to become a butterfly, it's innate.

And it's that innate-ness that I am

inviting us to explore.

Not the creation of something

you have to go out and get

or study or become that you aren't

it's what and who is already there,

and it's the permission to yourself

that you need in order for it to be revealed.

Precious one, I love you like this

because I was loved like this.

My two grandmothers and my two mothers

gave me so much love. It was rough,

we moved all the time, my mother worked,

all the time,

my own father died of an accidental overdose

after a lifetime of usage and tending

it's been rough, it hasn't been the way I thought.

The grief at times feels unbearable

but this love, this big sometimes raucus love

that wants to come out and be shared,

I learned it from them, including my father.

He told me he prayed for me everyday

and I believed him.

One of the things he told me was

that the reason why he did drugs was because

when he was in that space he felt more

like himself, and he could reach the true

self he knew he was and every time he would

try to bring it back across the veil and he

never could so he just kept visiting the other world

to see if he could bring it back and he couldn't

so finally he went into that other world.

Interesting however without his relationship with drugs,

I wouldn't even be here because I was conceived in a

psychadellic state, maybe that's why I am different (lol)

Just like you are different,

even if you didn't come in like I did,

on a cloud of bizarre imaginings.

That night my mother said they walked

outside in the moonlight, naked in cowboy boots.

Maybe I can blame all of my eccentric behavior on them

but I don't need to blame anyone,

because when I see myself

the blame disappears, enough,

the blame disappears enough and I just center

on my own experience of what's possible for me now.

I am inviting you to center on your own experience

of what's possible for you now.

I wish I could tell you things

'in the world' will improve or that

there are loving intelligent earth-caring

beings in charge of the communication

systems and cultural visions for humanity.

I cannot tell you this. You already know,

that many cultures at the level of

nation have lost their way.

We authentically grieve this and the

impacts it is having right now

in countless ways with countless

creatures and creations and

life forms being impacted,

we have accelerated change

but have not evolved our consciousness

at the same time, so it is sad time,

while also being a time of potential

for those who choose. I choose. One of the things i learned from my third parent is this:

She said we must develop our work along the same lines

as our consciousness, and it takes a whole lot of attention.

And let me add, intention,

Intentional Creativity requires attention, and time.

I wish I could tell you I have a plan

that could make this world

go a different direction towards peace,

equity and caring that goes beyond

borders and bindings. I can't say that.

But I do have something else to say. I have a plan, but it isn't for the world out there,

it is for the one that lives within each one of us.

That world within us, the one that

colors our wings with vibrancy and meaning,

that is where we must work to make it safer

for ourselves to become.

I can't help make the external factors safer.

Yet I can invite you to begin to make

the internal facets safer for you explore

because this is our power as humans

to define our own identity and to curate

our own consciousness.

I am inviting you

to tend your inner world.

The landscape within is clear

for flying free,

and finding spacious places to dream into.

This is where self-expression comes in.

I don't know how to say this any clearer,

except...to just say it....

We can't think ourselves into our inner world

without action,

and this is where I challenge the idea

of just being on the cushion or on the mat,

I really think our bodies need to be engaged.

I really feel and have seen that we must participate

with our whole bodies, whole minds, whole hearts,

whole full souls.

Yet, we have to say yes to the journey inside.

And for some of us it hasn't felt safe in there.

We were shaped too often by people

who didn't see when we were children,

they looked right through us.

They didn't always believe us.

They didn't slow down when we asked.

We were trying to be seen so clearly then,

and then many of us...thought we stopped,

but that inside world is still always asking,

but that's really hard because then we are

waiting for external circumstances and people

to really see us and it's hard because it's a riddle

because...

If you don't see yourself

it's really hard for other people to see you.

I feel like I get seen, truly, all the time, a lot

but it is because i see myself and when I look at you

I am looking at you from the eyes of someone

who sees myself, which means I can also, see you

in a way that sometimes feels unique when we look

into each others eyes, and sometimes I don't get

to look into your eyes in person and that's kind of

what I am doing right now.

I have heard many of your stories and

I can't figure out how to say this either but

I am just going to try anyway....

I am so deeply sorry for the danger

for the dangers you felt

just being born and being you

and becoming. I am sorry.

I wish I could apologize for our parents

and our leaders and the adults.

Maybe that's what i am doing

I am apologizing on their behalf

because the likelihood of them apologizing

isn't that likely.

My mother did apologize to me, and so did my father

and so I hold that pattern of their request for forgiveness,

and I am extending it to you. They asked me, I said yes,

and set myself free from needing to blame them for anything.

Right now beloved, right now,

in this now-ness between us is a Real Space.

This is a field condition and I am inviting you

to see yourself, to tend your inner world and

dare to nourish your self-expression.

You don't have to be good at creating

or talented or gifted, or make something pretty

or show it to anyone unsafe -

Yet I am certain of this:

Creating is how we become

How we bloom

How we unfold

We are creations living within a creation

rising up from creation, created to co-create.

So when we don't create it hurts us.

But if it hasn't felt safe enough to create

in time, it will.

Creating is our natural way of being.

Because creating is connected with Soul

and when Soul hasn't been allowed to thrive,

we can feel threatened when we first begin to create.

Old worlds and old wounds rise up as if brand new,

even stuff we felt like we already dealt with.

Creating is a confrontation at times,

it isn't always comfortable and Sue,

who taught me painting, my earth mother,

she would say: Lean into the discomfort

That's where the edge is, that's why it works.

Creating is one of the safest negotiations

you can have, with yourself,

to arrive home within you and create

a safe and sacred space for you.

The inner landscape of your being

requests your attention, Beloved.

I have good news for you,

there are LOTS of us here exploring

this sacred space within,

right beside you.

Right here, right now.

All around the world,

people are creating with intention.

And in time, you begin to feel

the quantum field we create.

I can't ever promise safety when

there are other humans involved,

I know you know what i mean,

but what I can invite all of us to,

is to gather ourselves up and

practice flying together.

See us now, in all of our colors

and our patterns, being free.

See us being free in our inner world

and the natural world of nature!

Listen.

The outer world

the external circumstances are a paradigm,

they are not a place, they are not a real place.

So when we shift our inner worlds,

which are real places within

our physical body and field

We begin to see the many worlds

with new multi-faceted eyes,

we begin to see our part in it

and when we see our part in it

we don't feel helpless

or hopeless anymore, or at least

not in the way we did before....

All of this that I have shared with you

is a journey, and while they say, time is short

I invite you to remember your Soul

is timeless, ageless, genderless,

and so you have time.

As you engage in your inner world,

time disappears and you enter the timeless breath. This is just the beginning of our conversation.

Just the start of something new between us,

something fresh and

something you have been waiting for

and me too, because I have been waiting for you.

Here's how I see it, we have always and ever

been heading towards this moment.

This could be a reckoning

or a revolution - or even better,

a revelation of being. Yours, Mine,

Ours as a Cosmic Village.

Let's gather and call the others to the council.

This is truly, our time.

They say - what if we were made for these times?

In a way I love that idea, but even better

is that our making, our creating,

impacts these times

with our courageous hearts.

Let us learn to care by caring.

May love be at the center of all our choices.

Dear One, I will see you in the next circle.

I hope you feel and continue to feel the real

and true love that is here, across the distances,

there is nothing between, only love,

thinking of you, right now,

with love,

Shiloh Sophia