Be With Them Where They Are (Death & Dementia)

Dear Community - With the holidays coming up and the stories I am hearing, I know many of you are going to visit family members who are navigating a changing experience of themselves. This is specifically for you…..and it is my personal story and what I learned. I hope you find it helpful. I will talk about my mom and her end of life, as well as a story about my mother and father. Many of my Elders found their way into this story as they often do!

I share ideas for
being with your loved ones where they are
being creative and curious about them
being courageous with your beliefs about what you think is happening
idea for navigating delusion and acknowledgment
leaving your judgement at the door
creating a new culture by choice
how all of this IS Intentional Creativity

While I am no expert on the topic, my personal story offers my first hand experience. When I say be with them where they are, death and dementia, I mean with your Beloveds AND with the realities of their situation.

With honor to the Ancestors who made our life possible.

With love,

Curate Shiloh Sophia (Daughter of Caron, Daugther of Sue)

Here is a link to resources for Dementia - there are many - move towards what you feel called to - but in the real time with them - it is up to you to intuit the way to provide the greatest love possible. And you are not alone, and the pathway, while mysterious has been walked many times and there are lots of resources.

Caron McCloud and Jimmie at their home in Port Townsend

Dying well is not the end of parenting, but the fullness of parenting, not the end of a marriage, but the last great act of a married life. Dying well is a bequest that you leave to those you love, probably the only thing that in the end will not be eaten by moths, apportioned by lawyers, or bought for quarters in a yard sale. Dying well is the way you could be known by those you won’t live long enough to meet, the way by which they might feel loved by you after you die.” Stephen Jenkinson

Mama Caron on the Brain - just a few months before she walked into her future